do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
