does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
My pussy is not your playground.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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