I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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