It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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