Got a toothbrush?
It was confusing and full of hummus
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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