brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize