Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry A_Nony_Mouse hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(256): View more from Alabama

FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex

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(720): View more from Colorado

These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.

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(571): View more from Virginia

she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.

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(519): View more from Ontario

your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho

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(772): View more from Florida

He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...

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(307): View more from Wyoming

I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.

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(720): View more from Colorado

I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.

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(636): View more from Missouri

I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.

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