I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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