You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
