I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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