I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
