And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
