I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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