found the other keg... it's in the tree
of course. lets lasso hookers.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
