Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
