How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
