Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
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