apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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