I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
