I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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