We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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