i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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