what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
