Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
