The maid of honor just puked.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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