so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
