If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
