i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
