tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
