He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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