I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
