so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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