I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
