You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
