so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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