we made out on top of his cat.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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