garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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