Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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