He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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