I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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