Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
