she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
You're earring is so big in my mouth
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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