I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
