I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
