HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
40s are totally the cure
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
