so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
