She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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