I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
just found out that she named her cat after me.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
