would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
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