Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
