I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
