Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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