I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
