He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Are we still banned from the library?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize