so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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