i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
