Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
