OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
