I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
