just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
