i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
