I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
