bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
