just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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