used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
