Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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