Have you finally orgasmed yet?
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
