her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
