The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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