my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
3pm strippers are depressing
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Randomize
