i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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