Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
handjob tips. give me some.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
