Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
