Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
