I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
