oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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