Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Randomize
