We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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