just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
