you have to choose: penises or morals?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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