Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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