I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize