Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We left an ass print on the piano.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
