so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
