I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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