what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
