haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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